I am a late-identified autistic ADHD woman, and a parent to autistic/PDA/ADHD boys. For years I was in a state of chronic stress, stuck in survival mode, constantly feeling like I wasn't 'good enough'. I pushed through and tried to mask more, telling myself it would get easier at some point. But it didn’t.

I was diagnosed ADHD and autistic in my mid-40s. Even though I had spent a few years researching autism and ADHD and immersing myself in neurodivergent-led online communities, it was a lot to process. At the same time, my son hit total burnout and became too unwell to leave the house. I threw myself into learning about neurodivergent burnout, PDA, and how I could help my son recover and we adopted a low demand approach at home.

But I got further into burnout myself. I felt empty, exhausted, anxious and lost. I could barely function to do everyday tasks. I wanted to feel better but I didn’t have the time, energy or capacity to do the things I used to do for myself. My son needed me all day, every day, and most nights too, and I was no longer able to wear the mask I’d always worn.

So I started a journey of self-discovery, to figure out who I really was and what I needed. I became more aware of how I was feeling physically, understanding my sensory needs, and listening to my body. I started to tune into my intuition again and let it guide me more, especially as a parent. I stopped trying to follow the one-size-fits-all, all-or-nothing approach to self-care I’d always believed.

I started to learn about the nervous system and how we experience and store stress and trauma in our bodies. I became more aware of my own nervous system, and how I was feeling, not thinking. And I changed my approach to ‘self-care’, building it into my life without trying to magic up extra time, so that I could regulate my nervous system and feel better.

And now I help others do the same…